Wednesday, July 3, 2013

A few tears... But it's all good

Hello family!!! I still am surprised every time Monday comes and I get to email. ha Sister Mabini and I went on a special adventure today! I FINALLY was able to go to the distribution center. I don't know if I told you that right when I came into the mission they changed the rules and whoever is further than 90 minutes of travel to the temple cannot go on P-days or with investigators, and since we're about 2 1/2 hours out, we definitely can't go :( But we got special permission for today and woke up at 5 am to go to the distribution center for about 10 minutes then turn around and come right back :) ha and we both hate the travel because we get SO sick on the buses, but atleast we got to see the temple, even if we couldn't go inside!! I think the Manila temple will be one of my favorites forever, it's so special to me just because of the amazing experiences I had in there while I was in the MTC. So that was our adventure today...
As far as this week, I honestly have very mixed emotions. I'll start with the bad so hopefully you just remember the good :P So this week we had a VERY hard time finding members to work with us, and so our goal of 15 lessons for the week with members ended up being 4 which led to us not being able to even teach half of our investigators because they're men, and then we spent a lot of time not knowing where to go and just kinda walking in the rain showing up at house after house who said they were too busy for us. So it was a very hard week for lessons but we tried to stay positive and just do our best to find Someone to teach. Also, I have realized that although I keep improving little by little with the language, the longer I'm out I think the more impatient I get with myself, which is hindi mabuti! (not good!) I spent one language study this week just on my knees crying and praying SO hard that I would be able to do this. That day I truly gained an experience of God making up for the things that really are beyond our own capacity. I didn't teach the lessons in perfect Tagalog, but each time it was my turn to speak the words flowed, some Taglish, but it flowed and I felt the spirit so strong. I know God answers prayers!!! And mama, don't worry about the crying part, I'm much stronger now than I was at that moment :) And then...we had 0 investigators at church (2 of which were so promising about being baptized in 2 weeks and now neither of them can't for other reasons..) But you just keep going.
NOW for the good! My very very favorite part of this week was yesterday when we were able to see the broadcast of the Worldwide leadership training, and it was amazing! I think all of us 4 sisters were crying :) It was so motivational in just doing the work, not being afraid to share the gospel, and it really helped us get some ideas in how we can help the members realize how important it is for them to work with us. That's our biggest trial in the branch, and that's what the whole training was on practically, so it was so helpful! And it just helped remind me of why I'm here, my purpose. I really honestly LOVE being a missionary with all my heart :) There are hard times every day, but I just remember that even if all I want to do is cry, I get to go home each night and sleep in my bed :) ha That really is what gets me through some of those times! But there are more happy than sad, because even when we're walking for 5 miles in the rain/heat/rain/heat (literally the weather every HOUR) ha me and Sister Mabini just have fun together! We really are such good friends, I think she knows more about me than myself, we talk about everything! It's a huge blessing, and I hope that even with my difficult companions her example will help me be able to find a good relationship with each of them.
THANK YOU family, SO much!! I love you more than you know, and I am so grateful for your support and love. I couldn't make it through each day without knowing that I have all of you at home praying for me and expecting the most from me. Mahal kita :)
Sister Benesch

First, our adorable zone :) ha I love all the elders in our zone, and of course the sisters, we're all so close and I'll be SO sad when I leave Baliwag!!

Me at the TEMPLE today on our great adventure :) ha

PS I have NO idea how I forgot this...but I gave a talk in church on sunday! In...mostly...tagalog! ha It was very very scary, but I did it :) I spent the whole week translating the english to tagalog with sister mabini then trying to memorize it!! So hard...maybe that's why I cried :) ha But I did it!! :)

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